&&..there will NEVER be another like you!

"..Never can say goodbye.."

--DANG! I feel like death is just one aspect of life i'll NEVER get over..or be prepared for! It's such a HUGE loss for all:: entertainment,music, his family,& friends--I was one the BIGGEST MJ fans, since like the age of 3. Now that I think about it, I was doing dance moves & singing along to songs that were out wayyyy before I was even THOUGHT about!! I would just sit home and watch MJ concert tapes ALLL DAYY long//EVERYday!!--that was probably the reason why i took this death like this:: i feel as if I knew him, & it was because of the fact that he had the ability to make you sing songs & relate to him even NO MATTER your age, race, religion, size, etc. He was what the world lacks--he was creative NOT weird, he was a genius NOT a fool, he wanted for others what he didn't have...No matter the rumors or how the media portrayed him I believed he was the total opposite--people look at me & some of the things I wear & say "that doesnt match!" or "what are doing? your turning white"...you eventually learm to accept the fact that AMERICA REJECTS what it does't UNDERSTAND!..it NEGLECTS what it hasn't seen..&& DISS' who it isn't or wants to be...I now see that it really pushes some people over the edge..NOT KOOL AMERICA!! No worries MIKE, I'll live through & for you--DIfferent is Gold & Different was YOU!!

"....JUST A SOUL WHOSE INTENTIONS ARE GOOD..OH LORD! PLEASE DON'T LET ME BE MIS-UNDERSTOOD!!"-----&& he was JUST that, Misunderstood!!..so sad!

YOU ARE MISSED...& LOVED!

--xoxo Tash!

My BLACK is BEAUTIFUL...

I'm not sure if you guys saw it but Tyra Banks had a couple days [may have been a week] on her show where she showcased her "BLACK"..or hair! the shows were talking about why and how black women try to deny their hair and the texture of it:: && it kept talking about "good hair & bad hair"--I have been guilty of labeling some hair good & some bad but it was all in the way it was styled...No hair is better than the other, I just think some is more taking care of than others...My hair is a MAJOR factor in my presentation & if its NOT done then I feel insecure about the way I look & the way I'm being perceived... I think that us as black women tend to think it is more manageable if we get a relaxer--not to make us unaware or our roots or "roots"...well I am a victim or getting a relaxer--but it wasnt by choice..I got my first relaxer at age 6 by my aunt and my mom was FURIOUS..but ever since then I was getting them..then at age 9 or 10 she went back to me getting my hair straightened.. but it never lasted long [because of playing outside, cheering, & softball..] so she went back to the relaxers :-( After that I couldnt stand NOT having a perm, everytime I felt my roots and felt "new growth" I was DEMANDING a visit to the hair salon---but July of 2008 was my last perm && now I am OH NAT-U-RALLLL!! && i LOVE it..I think that chemicals take away the natural oils & texture of our hair, not that EVERYONE has the same texture but i DEF notice a change in my hair. I just recently cut my ends [the last remaining pieces of perm..] my hair is SHORT now, but i can deal with it..i know it was for the better and it'll grow back! :-/

HERE IS MY HAIR CUTTT :-/

BEFORE [AND] AFTER::

IT'LL GROW ON ME, RIGHT?

--xoxo Tash!

Random-NESS...my thoughts @ 5:27am...

mmmmmm...SO MUCH on the brain::i have NO IDEA why I'm still up...I was so tired before but now I'm up doing....NOTHING! Wish I had someone to talk to :-/ to bad...MTV Jams is a MAJOR factor in my wacked out sleep cycle--it seems like as soon as i start to doze off a video comes on that i want to see..SUCKS! This is why I sleep all day!! I wonder how the crowd will be @ Intrigue tomorrow [well tonight, technically]--I REALLY need to get some sushi..i miss CLEMSONNN :-( as usual, I'm wanna move to the West Coast...when LOVE knocks you down do you REALLY get back up??...hmmm, does REAL really Recognize Real??--how'd you really know?? idk about anything now-a-days..WHY ASK WHY, rite?!!...ANYWHOO, MANNNNN i've been gone for alittle while, i WILL do better...alot has happened since my last post....

--Father's Day: I did absolutely NOTHING for it..My mom was out of town and I was here..BORED!!

--RUN'S HOUSE: The new season of Run's House aired..yesss!! i was WAYYY to excited for it...I've haven't watched tv & wished I was in someone else's family since Olivia was on the Cosby Show...That is a family with HOPE, LOVE, and Understanding...when or more like IF i get married--thats EXACTY how I'd want my family to be.

--COURT: I [along with my friends] went to court for the incident I/we had last month. It was CRAZYYYY--&& i mean that in EVERY aspect of the word..it was like television or a movie or something, its an experience that i will NOT be looking forward to..EVER again!!..nevertheless, WE WON!! :-) && to think the Cops were against us at first..GOOD ALWAYS PREVAILS!

--LIFE: its crazy but I'm starting to understand it..MINUS a few glitches [people]..DANG!, hate to say it but YES, i KEEP cutting off people to eventually let them BACK in..knowing its the WRONG thing to do....I'm trying to work on that butttt its taking alittle longer than I expected..OH WELL for that! My friends say I'm to Nice yet the strangers say i'm STUCK UP! i'll Never know...

thats all for now--i'm gonna try to SLEEP!!

zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ!!

--xoxo Tash!

O M G!!! REMIXXXXX!!

this girl can really sing!!

omgggg--LYRICALLY JOJO DEF put the life of ALL teenage girls in here..

I LOVEEE THIS REMIX--best BY FAR..

DANG, i had forgot ALL about her....SHES BACKKK!!

--xoxo Tash!

...19 & Enlightened..

ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I'm kind of upset that my birthday is over now :-( wowwww!! when i woke up yesterday all i could think about was:: 19 years ago today I came into this world && a year before that I wasn't even thought of!! Man I could help but to think about what my mothers life would be like if she didn't have me in it...[thinking...] DANG! I must say that this birthday DEF opened my eyes to certain aspects of life && myself...I wasn't even excited at first but when it was actually here I felt as if I was on top of the world because I was still living!!

I DEF believe that with age comes wisdom--& at 19 years of age I am one strong//passionate young woman!! I think that I believe in what I want to and that makes me who I am--I dress different and unusual according to my surroundings yet that comforts me within...I have come to terms with the fact that I can't change the things that have happened in my past, i can only burry them look forward to my future--I tend to think that you have to have it all to be happy when that isn't always the case....

My 19th birthday was AMAZING!! && i did ABSOLUTELY nothing; my day went as followed:: woke up--gave my dog a bath, Showered, nail shop, ate breakfast that my BFF Kayla made for me [PANCAKESSSS--my fav!], Mall, went to eat at one of my FAV restuarants in Lil 5 points, then off to the Club for a bit with the rest of my friends!!..after that we went to Waffle House && they sang Happy Birthday to me--& almost ate all of my cake!!...YES, i spent the ending of my 19th birthday in a place I don't even eat at...&& it was AWESOME...i had soooo much fun!! I guess in some cases--SIMPLICITY is KEY!!

But as I got home, I couldnt sleep and I began to think about actually getting older and how life is going to start getting harder and harder:: i love to sit and watch as little kids run around and scream like there is no tomorrow--i would give anything to go back to the times when I had no worries..uugghhh!! buttt thats LIFE, rite?

I just feel like 19 is a TEASING age..you can do the same thing as you did when you were 18 and your going to do the same thing next year when you turn 20..ahhhh THIS SUCKS!!

but i do THANK GOD for allowing me to live another year--because in all honesty, there were times when i thought I shouldn't have....

--xoxo Tash!

&& Mr.West does it again..

--xoxo Tash!