"LATELYY..."

..."Have I told you I loved you...LATELY!!..Have I told you you STILL mean the WORLD to me...":: Lately--I've noticed that being in school and away from my normal church environment it's hard for me to think about and get through certain things...I feel like this semester I've been slacking on the faith...jesus..& GOD parts that I would usually have..I'm starting to get stressed, angry, happy, lazy, depressed, happy again, content, hyper, sleepy, etc.. && I don't know how to handle sooo many emotions at once..every other day I feel a different way & on the days I feel upset or unhappy..i call my mom or aunt and they tell me to PRAY:: but what is praying??..[rhetorically speaking.]--I have a HUGEEE issue with PRAYING and calling on God because I don't do it everyday..It just seems like everytime a person is going through it or start to hit rock bottom they decide to turn to God for guidance && I don't agree nor understand that..I know deep in my heart that I want to pray and I'm sure he knows it too..but i just can't do it, especially knowing that I don't thank him for the time my life is going as I want it to. when I get into my "I just want to go home", depressed mode && all I'm hearing is just pray about God will see you through--I know he will--but when things don't happen as fast as we want them to we began to question the ONE person that we look to in these times of need...GOD!!..WHY IS THAT?? i know that I want him to help me and see me through certain situations but when I'm in these situations all I can think about is that old saying the elders tell us.."God puts/ brings you into certain situations because he knows you can handle them" or that one when they say, "If he brings you to it--he'll bring you through it."-- so i just tend to ride them out until I can't handle it anymore..when i go back home I go to church & to go see my "Dad"..but there are some Sundays I miss...That leads me to another thing--just because you don't go to church EVERY Sunday doesn't mean you don't seek believe/ seek the lord...YES!! we're ALL sinners but he forgives you for those things in order for us to understand that EVERYONE makes mistakes and it isn't our place to punish nor judge them--but IDK---i just know that I've been going through it and after calling on all the humans I trust and they can't really HELP me because they haven't been in this situation...My only other option is GOD!!..Is it okay for me to pray in this time of need even if I don't do it EVERYDAY??...HE DOES STILL KNOW MY STRUGGLES IF I DON'T PRAY...RIGHT??--IF I HAVE A PERSON WHO DOES PRAY EVERYDAY TO PRAY FOR ME WILL IT COME QUICKER?? maybe it'll all come to me...SOONER than LATER i'd hope!!..im just saying that...LATELY---I'VE BEEN NEEDING HIM...BAD!! :-/

--xoxo Tash!